Mustache Mutiny
by Sgamer82
Summary: Shinichi grows facial hair. No one likes it. Commence operation "Get rid of Shinichi Kudo's moustache." Written for Poirot Café's Prompt Exchange #4. (ONE-SHOT)
_**Detective Conan**_
 _Mustache Mutiny_  
By  
Sgamer82

"I kind of like it, actually. It gives him a dashing look. But it's not my opinion that matters here, so I'm siding with Ran."

"Well, I _don't_ like it. It's not right to see my baby without a baby face!"

"I don't like it, either. He doesn't look like Conan-kun, anymore!"

"I don't really care either way. I'm only here because I was bored."

"I don't like it. Now whenever we're in bed together it feels like I'm being scratched on my neck when-"

Ran Kudo (née Mouri) suddenly stopped as four pairs of eyes became very intent upon her.

"I... probably shouldn't go into any further detail with kids in the room," she added hastily, blushing all the while.

"Don't let us stop you," Ai said.

"We watched the video about that stuff in class already," Ayumi added.

"I'd like to know how things are progressing, myself," Ran's mother-in-law Yukiko chimed in. "You two only just married last year."

"Yes, do tell, do tell!" Sonoko urged.

Ran buried her face in her hands for a moment.

"In all seriousness," Ai said. "I don't see why growing a moustache is a big deal to everyone."

"We just explained that, Ai," Ayumi told her.

"And most of your explanations were shallow," Ai retorted. "Only one of you has a practical reason. One we should really learn more about..."

Ai stopped short as Ran glared at her.

"That kind of discussion isn't appropriate when two of the people in the room are children." Ran added significant stress to the word "two". Ai merely shrugged.

"Worth a try."

Ayumi gave her best friend and fellow sixth grader a solemn pat on the shoulder. Then she turned to Ran.

"Why don't you shave it off while he's sleeping?"

"That wouldn't be right, Ayumi-chan," Ran told her. "Besides, we might disagree on this matter but if I do something like that, it'll turn into a real argument."

"That would be bad, huh?" Ayumi hung her head.

"Not as bad as it could be," Ran told her. Nothing could be as bad as the incident that had immediately followed Ran's learning the truth about Conan Edogawa and Ai Haibara. Nowadays, she and Shinichi referred to it simply as The Argument. "But bad enough."

"I know!" Sonoko pounded her fist into her hand. "Tell Shinichi-kun that the mustache makes him look like his dad! He won't like that one bit."

"Hm..." Yukiko looked thoughtful "I'd give that a fifty-fifty chance at best. You're right that Shin-chan certainly doesn't like being compared to his father, but he still respects him. He might keep it because of that. Even if he wouldn't, he'll certainly work out what you're trying to do and possibly grow it out into a full beard out of sheer contrariness."

Ran shuddered.

"What I need," Ran said after she collected herself, "is some way to convince Shinichi to get rid of his mustache that will work even if he knows or thinks I'm trying to trick him into it. All I can think of is trying to order him to do it or issuing an ultimatum, and this seems such a trivial thing to do that for."

"Do you have any ideas, Ai?" Ayumi asked. "You're an expert at making people miserable."

"You make me sound so evil when you say it like that."

"And?" Ayumi raised and eyebrow.

"And you should consider yourself lucky we're friends," Ai deadpanned.

"Did we used to be like this?" Ran asked Sonoko.

"'Used to' implies we stopped being like that," Sonoko replied.

"It just so happens I do have an idea," Ai told them, speaking loudly to get their attention.

"What have you got, oh tiny expert?"

Ai momentarily glared at Sonoko for the "tiny" crack, then cleared her throat.

"I was going to say Sonoko-san actually had exactly the right idea." Everybody, including Sonoko, blinked. "You just need to change the comparison."

Everyone stared at Ai in confusion. Ran was the first to get it, and a big grin spread across her face as she did. Yukiko understood second and burst out laughing.

"Oh, Shinichi would hate that!" Ran exclaimed. "Even more than being compared to his own father!" Ran embraced the younger girl. "Thank you, Ai-chan!"

Ai sat back after Ran released her and looked more smug than she usually did.

Sonoko and Ayumi ultimately needed it explained to them.

* * *

That very night over dinner, Ran put "Operation Get Rid of Shinichi Kudo's Mustache" (name courtesy one Ayumi Yoshida of Teitan Elementary, class 6-3) into action. Ran and Shinichi talked about their day, ate the dinner Ran had prepared and, once all that was done, Ran informed Shinichi that she was no longer going to make a big deal over the mustache.

"What changed your mind?" Shinichi asked warily.

"Well, I was talking with your mom, Sonoko, and the girls today. They helped me figure out just why the mustache occupied my mind so much. It's actually really silly. You'll laugh when you hear it."

"I'm sure I will," Shinichi said even as Ran was certain alarm bells were ringing like mad in his mind.

"What I think it was this whole time was that you're a detective with a mustache."

"Uh... huh..." Shinichi wasn't sure where Ran was heading with this.

"The thing is, when I think if a detective and a mustache together, there's only ever been one thing that springs to mind. It's so funny..." Ran genuinely laughed for a second before she collected herself. "Every time I see you with that mustache it reminds me of my dad! Isn't that just hilarious?"

Ran was glad she had that pretext to fall back on. Otherwise she would have had a much harder time explaining why she had burst out laughing when Shinichi's eyes went wide and his face pale.

After that revelation, Shinichi immediately excused himself and spent several minutes in the bathroom alone with a razor. Shinichi Kudo might or might not have minded being compared to his father, but no matter how much or how little respect he had for the man he absolutely hated the idea of being compared to Kogoro Mouri.

That was why, from that day forward, the subject of facial hair did not arise ever again.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** It's written in such a way as to stand on its own, but in my own mind it falls into my "Post-Canon Conan" series I've been writing stories about lately. So it can share continuity with _Orbital Query_ , _Second Guessing_ , _A Confidence Boost_ , and _Closure_. All that really means is that Ayumi would be wearing glasses and Ai would have been adopted into the Kudo family (hence why I didn't use her surname).


End file.
